Beyond Illusion: Seeing Life Clearly
Peace results from retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than how you think it should be. This truth is particularly relevant for individuals who have experienced complex PTSD (C-PTSD) and relational trauma. For many, life has been filled with pain, betrayal, and brokenness that have left deep scars. Yet, God’s promise of peace remains available, even amidst struggles.
A Scriptural Foundation for Peace
Philippians 4:6-7 offers a powerful starting point for finding peace:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This scripture reminds us that God’s peace can guard our hearts and minds. However, for those who have experienced severe trauma—especially relational betrayal, religious abuse, or church hurt—activating this scripture may feel far from simple. Trauma often leaves individuals disconnected from their emotions and reality, making it difficult to fully embrace this promise.
It’s important to recognize that God’s healing goes beyond spiritual practices alone. He has also provided tools through psychology and science to aid in the healing process. These tools are not in opposition to faith—they are part of God’s provision for us.
The Impact of Trauma on the Mind
For individuals struggling with C-PTSD and relational trauma, retraining the mind begins with acknowledging painful experiences and facing the reality of what has occurred. Trauma often creates survival mechanisms that were once protective but now hinder healing. These mechanisms can leave one so far removed from their true feelings and emotions that they no longer see life as it truly is.
Some common responses created by trauma include:
– Denial
– Suppression of emotions
– Ignoring or minimizing the trauma
– Making excuses for abusers
– Toxic positivity
– Hypervigilance
– Emotional numbing
– Dissociation
– People-pleasing behaviors
– Self-blame
Recognizing these responses is the first step in retraining the mind. It’s crucial to understand that these behaviors were developed as survival mechanisms during times when other options weren’t available. But now, they may be holding you back from healing and experiencing peace.
The Night I Fled My Hostile Environment
Though I grew up in a domestic violent home as a child, I believed that I had escaped that cycle when I left at 17. I told myself I would never tolerate abuse in my adult life, but years of emotional manipulation and subtle brainwashing slowly eroded my sense of self-worth and reality. One night, after an incident that left me feeling unsafe, I fled my violent environment to a place of safety. It was there, in that safe space, that the police arrived and asked me a question that would change my life. A police officer looked at me and asked if my husband had hit me. Without hesitation, I replied, “He only shoved me.”
His angry response shook me to my core: “That is assault, and that is a crime.” In that moment, I realized there were people—people who saw shoving as abuse and completely unacceptable behavior. As a younger individual before marriage, I would have never tolerated such actions. But years of living in an unhealthy environment had boiled away my emotional intelligence and common sense like a frog in slowly heated water—I didn’t even realize how far I had drifted from my true self.
But there are programming and patterns that are embedded into our emotional DNA. These patterns often stem from childhood experiences and shape how we view ourselves and our relationships. This programming can create unconscious cycles of tolerating harmful behavior or staying in unhealthy environments far longer than we should. Thus, another reason I found myself having stayed for such a long time in such a hostile relationship. Retraining our beliefs and thoughts goes much deeper than simply replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. To truly break free from unhealthy programming and relational patterns, we must dig deep into the roots of these behaviors—examining where they come from, understanding their impact, and intentionally working to rewire them with God’s truth about who we are and what we deserve. This process also requires the use of necessary techniques and tools backed by science and psychology, which God has graciously provided to support our healing journey.
That night wasn’t just the night I physically fled; it was the night I began to wake up to the truth of my situation and the lies I had been telling myself to survive. It was a turning point that forced me to confront the disconnect between the life I was living and the life God wanted for me—a life of peace, safety, and freedom from bondage.
Steps Toward Healing
Healing begins with acknowledging the truth about your experiences and allowing yourself to feel what you’ve suppressed for so long. It’s not easy—but it’s necessary for true peace.
Here are some steps you can take toward healing:
- Acknowledge Your Experiences: Stop minimizing or excusing what happened. Be honest about your pain without judgment or shame.
- Connect With Your Emotions: Practice identifying your feelings in safe spaces—whether through journaling, prayer, or conversations with trusted individuals.
- Seek Support: Consider working with a trauma-informed coach or therapist who can help you process your experiences in a way that aligns with both faith and practical tools for healing.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Speak kindly to yourself during this journey; you are not defined by what happened to you.
- Engage With Scripture Gradually: If certain scriptures trigger you due to past religious abuse, start small with verses that remind you of God’s unconditional love.
- Join a Supportive Community: Surround yourself with those who understand your journey—healing happens in connection.
- Allow Yourself Time: Healing is not linear; give yourself permission to move at your own pace.
Remember, retraining your mind to process life as it truly is doesn’t mean dwelling on the past indefinitely. It means acknowledging your experiences, processing them in a healthy way, and then moving forward with a clearer understanding of yourself and your worth. As you work towards peace, be patient with yourself. Healing is a journey, not a destination. Trust in God’s timing and methods for your unique path to recovery, and know that He is with you every step of the way.
Curious about your next step in healing? Let’s connect during a 30-minute “Unlock Your Transformation” consultation. We’ll explore your unique experiences and discuss how my expertise can support you in creating lasting peace and freedom.