by Jack Watts
MY PRAYER: Father, Nothing is how I planned it to be,As I thought it would be, As I believed it was promised by You.Perhaps my aspirations were nothing moreThan my own self-serving, wishful thinking,But the despair from my failure is real.Nothing could be more real than how brokenhearted I am, Knowing that my life didn’t have To unfold the way that it has.
As a youth, when I turned my life, My will, my heart, and my purposeOver to You for Your safekeeping, I believed I would experience nothing but abundance, Carefree living, and smooth sailing, but this Has certainly not been my experience—not even close. It seems like I have failed at each turn, With everything I have chosen to do.Even worse, when I’ve needed You the most, It seems like You have become more distant than ever. My enemies delight at my misfortune. The pain from their sharp, demeaning remarks never abates. Each one stings, crushing my soul and wounding my spirit, While derailing my resolve to become strong and purposeful.Those I’ve trusted have used and misused me,Rejecting me without cause—never casting a backward glance.
Like a fool, I never fathomed what was happening. As I recoiled from my wounds, filled with despair, I called upon You, but You were nowhere to be found.I didn’t want to fail, Father, but I have. I know I have, and I can’t change the past or what has occurred. My history is what it is, and it will always remain so. Many doors have now been closed to me,But my journey is not yet complete.Other opportunities will eventuate, but unless You teach me through my mistakes, I will never learn my lessons. Instead, I will be doomedTo replicate my errors and remain devoid of discernment. Help me gain wisdom from my current situation, Father, Because I don’t want to be in this hopeless, tortured position again, Amen.