My Posse
“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Prov. 13:20 NLT
You could hashtag this verse in so many ways. #Truth, #100%, even #Micdrop. This is a go-to for parents when instructing their teenagers on picking their friends. What parent does not have a fervent desire to protect their children from harm? Leaders, do you not want to mentor new employees to become successful? And a true God called Pastor, is it not your heart to nurture, guide, care, and protect the flock that God has given you?
When I was a young man just starting out in my walk with God, an older man invited me out to lunch. He wanted to have a straight talk with me. He had observed some dangerous associations in my life and was willing to point them out to me as an elder. I felt crushed! I began to offer excuses, deflect any knowledge of their reputation. Was becoming a politician? No, I was becoming offended. I wanted to put his observations where I thought they belonged, in my mental garbage can. But he had read the first chapter of the Psalms and Proverbs to me, and having the sense God gave a goose, I kept going back to those scriptures.
And his words “it matters where you live” kept coming up in my thoughts. Sure enough, in the coming days, weeks, and months his warnings and counsel were revealed as true. Later I would confess to him that I was so angry at him after our lunch together. But I thanked him for what he did and told him that I understood that Wisdom was calling to me through him. I told him that those first two verses of Psalms 1 would always be a foundational scripture for me. I remember him smiling and telling me, “I’m confident that one day verse three will be as well.”
Over the years I have had many associations, friendships, and relationships. They varied in the level of connection. Most were constituents, few were comrades, fewer are confidants. Constituents held a place in my circle of activities. They were members of an organization I was in, and we all shared and worked toward the same goal. Comrades, however, were granted a place in my circle of relationships. Then there are confidants. These share a mutual, give and receive place in our circle of trust. This differs from TD Jakes’s “Three Cs of Friendship” in that most friends can only occupy the place of Comrade.
The scripture I opened this article with tells us the effects of who we associate with. I want to flip the verse and cover the negative first. There is a principle that is found in Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church and that is that “Bad company corrupts good character.” Many translations use “good morals.” To me there is no better example than Lot living in Sodom. When he and Abraham separated Lot choose the plain of the Jordan. (Genesis 13:11) We next hear that he had been taken captive because he was living in Sodom, and Abraham had to rescue him. (Genesis 14:12) Finally when the angels that were sent to destroy Sodom arrived in the city, we find him sitting at the place where city officials met. Peter tells us that Lot was tormented in his soul by the lawlessness of those in Sodom, but he served as a city council member. The sin of those he was in association with was corrupting his character. Sounds like the association might have been at the constituency level. Had the LORD not brought judgement then, would it have progressed to Comrade? God is merciful and knows how to rescue the godly.
So, what is better? What brings better advice, a better path, a better place?
Psalm 1:1 NKJV
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.
How about Paul and Timothy? Timothy’s relationship to Paul was at the confidant level. Paul said he had no one else like Timothy. I can imagine Timothy sitting for lengthy periods mouth shut and ears open as Paul imparted into this young man, the truth of the gospel of Christ and the wisdom to be both a Missionary and Pastor. Paul would eventually give great trust and responsibility to Timothy.
Then there is Moses and Joshua. The bible does not tell us that Moses had any indication that the LORD would choose Joshua to be his successor. Placing him into the position as his assistant seemed to set Joshua on the inside track. His resume was impressive. He played a key role in the exodus from Egypt. One of the two spies that brought back a correct report from the promised land. Held the rank of General of the Israeli Army. That and Joshua was constantly following Moses everywhere, even halfway up a mountain. If Moses stopped, Joshua ran into him.
In both examples the circle of activity, relationship, and trust was present. So how does God join people together? The relationship of David and Jonathan gives us insight. After David killed Goliath, he was brought before Saul. When David had finished speaking, the Bible says that Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as he loved himself. That day a covenant was made between the two. (1 Samuel 18:1-3) One translation says that the souls of David and Jonathan were knit together. This tells me that both men based their relationship, in this case a covenant, on their mutual commitment to God. This is evident because when tested, they let nothing come between them.
Before we start evaluating those that we have as friends and placing a green checkmark next to those we consider wise, and a red X next to them we consider foolish. Should we not look first inward and judge ourselves and what we have to offer? And it is not a sad thing that our posses look like a pyramid. I do not have enough time or energy to be a confidant to everyone. But when God connects people together, there is a grace for it to be.