by Jack Watts

Father,
Understanding Your leading is not always difficult.
You are crystal clear about so many things—
About honesty, fidelity, and caring for others.
With these, it is impossible to misunderstand Your will,
But most of life isn’t this simple—
Nor is Your will that easy to discern.
It is not always crystal clear—
Not black and white—which I wish it would be.
Instead, it is varying hues of gray, making choices perplexing.
It seems like I am never clear about Your leading,
And yet You expect me to follow You blindly,
Putting my trust in You without reservation.
As I try to discern Your purpose, I have been forced
To step out in faith and be bold many times,
Without any idea of what the future might hold,
Or of what the results of my actions would be.
Nothing ever seems to end the way I think it should,
Or the way I thought it would, forcing me to wonder
If I have understood You accurately. Instead, I wonder
If have I done nothing more than project my desires,
Calling them Your will, when they really were not.
As I walk by faith, I rarely receive the answers I expect,
Which You could easily disclose but never seem to do.
I look at my situation, demanding to know the outcome,
While You already knowing what that will be.
Your ways are beyond my capacity to discern.
As others view my life, scornfully mocking,
Delighting at what seems like my certain failure,
I can count on the assurance of Your guidance.
You know what You have planned for my life.
No matter how contemptuously others view my plight,
From the depth of my soul, Your voice
Reassures me that You are in charge.
You are God Almighty, and I am not.
As I acquiesce, my soul is quieted, and I become still.
When I obediently release the outcome to You,
I accept that I may look foolish to many,
Especially on the outside; but on the inside—
Where it really counts, I’m becoming incredibly strong
In ways that are destined to have value for me and for others,
Amen.

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