by Jack Watts

Father,
Sometimes, life can be so complicated.
Doing the right thing seems easy enough,
Until it comes time to do it,
When the dread of adverse consequences
Becomes an overwhelming apprehension.
My heart yearns for life to become easier,
But this certainly has not been my experience.
What makes me so special that my journey
Has to be filled with so many difficult impediments?
Why can’t things go smoothly—just for a while?
Why me, Lord? Why me? Why? Why? Why?
I don’t want to sound like I’m whining,
But I know I am. I’m complaining because
My shoes are too tight, while many go barefoot.
I know I should be more grateful, patient, and accepting,
But I want a respite from my numerous travails.
I want despair and sorrow to be removed far from me.
The “Be warmed and be filled” crowd of Christians
Smile and offer meaningless, glib platitudes,
While I nurse wounds that I fear will destroy me.
I want to serve You with gladness and joy,
But I have no sense of hope within me—
Nothing that can sustain me for more
Than a few fleeting moments at a time.
I do not want to be a disingenuous automaton,
Pretending everything is lovely and joyous,
When I know so many things are dreadfully wrong.
My days, which are numbered by You,
Are passing before me, and it all seems
Like such a terrible, meaningless waste.
Intervene, Lord, and allow me to know
Joy and gladness once again.
Fill my days with peace and purpose,
So that I can tell other of Your fidelity,
And be completely honest doing so.
Don’t leave me in this dismal, pitiful situation,
Lest my sorrows become overwhelming and destroy me, Amen.

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