by Jack Watts

Father,
Unlike most, I know I have it all together.
I am a person of substance and value.
People listen when I speak,
As words of wisdom roll mellifluously
From the essence of my being.
My life is an example for others to emulate.
At least, this was what I have considered to be true.
 
This is when You came and shook my foundation,
Which was not built upon anything meaningful.
Knowing my vulnerabilities and insecurities,
You rocked my world like nobody else could.
In an instant—in a flash, I was undone,
Realizing I was not the person I thought I was.
I was not the man I claimed to be.
When You revealed me to myself,
I stood naked—laid bare before Your eyes,
Unable to hide my frailties from Your scrutiny,
From the truth of who I really was.
Broken, embarrassed, and unnerved,
I recoiled, consumed with shame.
 
Those who claimed their loyalty abandoned me,
While my enemies delighted at my misfortune.
In an instant, Your blessings—the outward manifestation
Of all that I thought had value—vanished before my eyes.
No longer confident, I became fearful and apprehensive.
Recognizing the weakness in my foundation,
You have shaken me, revealing me to myself,
And I am lost, completely undone.
 
Father, when will this nightmare end? When will it be enough?
When will Your heavy hand of discipline subside,
Restoring me to a life of peace, purpose, and tranquility?
Will Your pruning cease, or will it last for a lifetime?
Only You know; only You have the answers.
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I have learned my lesson.
O, how I regret my arrogant, self-serving ways,
Which I was too foolish and arrogant to acknowledge.
I beseech You, Father, hasten the day of my restoration,
Lest my sorrows overwhelm me and leave me without hope,
Amen.

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