Surviving In a Toxic Workplace
It is Saturday! For most of us the work week is over. Many are looking at chores that need to be taken care of. The grass ain’t getting cut by itself, and that “honey do list” will only grow longer if you do not get after it. Maybe your day is free and plans for recreation are awaiting you. The lake house and firepit have been calling your name all week. You have put your forty in on the necessary, now it is time for the important.
However, for some the weekend has become a break from a toxic workplace. If you have ever been in a toxic or hostile work environment, you know well the trauma it can bring. It can affect you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Suffering physical trauma often requires a visit to an Emergency Room where trauma physicians treat and stabilize. A weekend can be life’s ER that only treats immediate trauma. A brief respite from harm’s way. To return to the situation that caused the trauma, prevents total healing.
Before offering a dictionary’s definition of a toxic workplace, I want to write what it is not. It is not because your employer asks you to do your job. To be on time to work and be a good steward of the organization’s resources. Or requires that you to get and keep certain qualifications or certifications. These are not hostile actions, but simply contractual requirements. They pay you; you do the job.
A hostile or toxic workplace is where an employee’s performance, satisfaction, or health is negatively affected by discrimination, harassment, or other offensive behavior. If you are working in a place where you or co-workers feel intimidated, uncomfortable, or fearful because of the actions of management of co-workers, you are in a horrible workplace.
I have been in or observed vicariously several toxic workplaces. I did not always know how or choose to react correctly to them. But with maturity, experience, and mentoring, I found ways to survive and even thrive in them. Just as I wore personal protective equipment to protect me from hazards in the workplace, I developed disciplines to protect myself from harmful effects of a toxic workplace. So, from my experiences, the mistakes and lessons learned, I want to share my “Survival Guide for a Toxic Workplace.” Like any other survival guide, my is not exhaustive.
Pray For Favor
Toxic behavior is evil, it is spiritual, and manifests in a person by influence from satan. So, we overcome by taking it to God. Through prayer we make supplications for protection, wisdom, and strength. Read the Psalms, many were David’s prayers to the LORD about the toxic situations and people around him. Trusting God in tough times can bring us His favor that will strengthen and deliver us.
Honor All
How many will be honest and admit that you struggle with Jesus’ commands to love, do good towards, pray for, forgive, and bless those that hate, curse, and persecute you. To me the best example of this is with Peter. In 1 Peter 2:17 the Apostle instructs us to honor all men, and he says to honor the emperor. Peter is talking about Nero who would soon crucify him.
Stay In Your Lane
Being present, doing what I am assigned to do keeps me busy, and prevents me from being caught up in the sorry behavior of a hostile boss or co-workers. A wise friend of mine would often say, “I got a good chance to stay out of this, and I think I am going to take it.”
Be Thick Skinned
This was some of the best advice I received from a supervisor when I was younger. We sometimes give the words others speak to us and about us, way too much credibility. Lester Sumrall a man used mightily by God, made this statement that has stuck with me in both my secular occupation and my service to the Lord.
“I don’t find my happiness in other people’s heads.”
We do not get to decide what others think or say about us. But we do get to determine what they ought to be thinking and saying.
Always Stay on the Right Side
This is not a “If you can’t beat em, join em” moment. I could say it this way as well. Keep right on your side. Doing what you are told to do by your leaders, and not just the minimum to get by, but your best, has the standards, policies, and rules backing you up.
See Something, Say Something
More times than not, if a toxic situation is not dealt with, something must be said. Your saying though should be to those in leadership who can affect change. You should never become part of
the problem and talk to those who you feel are in your corner, or on your side.
Run From Gossip
For toxic people, gossip in the workplace is a strategic part of their means and methods. In marketing their evil, networking with like-minded or naïve co-workers is like yeast in dough. All they need is a receptive ear at the water cooler. To give your ear to a gossiper is to take part in damaging relationships and stirring up conflict and division.
Two Ears, One Mouth
I have had a few jobs that the HR department should have given me a variation of the Miranda Rights that police officers recite to an accused offender upon arrest.
“You have the right to remain silent as anything you say will certainly be used, exaggerated, and repeated against you.”
Know When to Hold, Know When to Fold
It is the responsibility of organizations to provide a workplace that is free of toxicity. Not doing so is an obvious sign that they do not care about their people. They can claim they are in the Top 100 places to work, but the proof is in the pudding. When employees have done everything right, they watched their words, and played nicely with the immature, yet conditions do not change. It is then that the responsibility for change falls to you. Don’t filter the tap, fix the source.