by Jack Watts

Father,
For those who wait patiently for You,
For those who come to You for guidance,
Rather than taking matters into their own hands,
You promise they will mount up with wings like eagles—
That they will run and not grow weary—
That they will walk and never faint.
In the depth of my despair, in my intense heartache,
Your promises seemed to be ethereal and remote.
They also seemed so obscure and unattainable,
That I was certain they were beyond my grasp.
I didn’t consider them to be real or tangible.
They felt like nothing more than sappy, poetic platitudes.
In my pain and heartache, which at times was so intense,
All I wanted was relief from suffering I thought was endless.
I begged You to answer my insistent demands,
Which You never did, adding to my distress.
I felt so unloved and abandoned—even by You—
That it magnified my pain tenfold, perhaps twenty.
Now, I realize You did answer me. You simply said, “No.”
You loved me enough to prevent me from suffering
Negative consequences that were not in my best interest.
In my disquietude and short-sightedness,
I couldn’t understand or discern Your will, but now I can.
Because I chose Your path, instead of my willful
Self-destructive vices to ease my pain and discomfort,
You have brought me to a higher plateau—
To a place where I am now capable
Of mounting up with wings like an eagle—
Just as You promised in Your Word.
Because You restore the years the locust have eaten away,
I feel refreshed and invigorated, with a determined resolve
That has increased my energy dramatically.
As my strength and faith continue to abound,
I feel empowered to run and not grow weary.
Thank You for refusing to honor my foolish demands,
Which would have caused me more needless heartache, Amen.

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